A Siblings Grief

If I had to describe 2025 in one word, it would be wild. On one hand, it held the purest happiness I have ever known because my daughter was finally in my life. Being her mom became my soul’s purpose, and I loved every single second of it. However, in the same breath, it was the hardest year of my life. Grief hit me like a tidal wave. I watched my daughter change everyone’s lives, but the one person who should have been there, my brother, wasn’t! I became so angry with the world. I felt like he was robbed from my life, and that my daughter was robbed of the life she should have had with her uncle. It was a year of extreme highs and terrifying lows. Here is the truth about my journey through the darkness, and how I found the light. By December 2024, I had hit an all-time low. I found myself resenting the people closest to me, even my husband. It wasn’t a lack of love; it was a deep feeling of unfairness. Everything in our lives had changed to revolve around the baby, but it felt like my...

There are moments that divide a life into before and after. For me, that moment came on 22 October 2017 — the day my brother died. I’ve written this as both a record and a remembrance. It’s not about the years of aftermath, the courtrooms, or the endless waiting for justice. This is about that day itself how it happened, how it felt, and how it changed everything. It started like any other Saturday… I was consumed in my final university project, my last undergraduate submission, determined to finish it before the deadline. My brother was getting ready to go out to a friend’s birthday. His best friend would be driving that night, as they always took turns when they went out. In our family, saying goodbye always mattered. After losing our Oupa when we were young, we learned never to take a single departure for granted. Even if someone was just popping out to the shop, we said goodbye properly with love.  The last words we said to him were “ Goodbye .” That small moment has become one...